the thing i’ve noticed most about getting older is that i am quite frequently emotionally helpless.
when i was in my teens and twenties, world events and news that would have simply rolled off my back now stab at my heart endlessly and render me a useless pile of slop (see: Newtown, CT). i find myself increasingly sensitive to the terrible things that happen all around us, becoming more and more aware that it’s just barest veneer of civility and social mores that is keeping everything from descending into complete and utter chaos.
i haven’t watched TV on a regular basis for many years now, and every time i do (at my parents’ house, at the gym) i feel like everyone on there is speaking a slightly different dialect than i am. more and more i feel like less of a native of wherever the heck i’m supposed to be from.